Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The end of the universe?

Apparently I only post when (insert witty name for boyfriend here; IWNFBH) practically dictates what I should say.  In all fairness, he is just repeating back something that I already said that was so absurd (or in this case suggests such great global, well really universal, concern that he feels as though it should be shared.  In this case it is a problem of the collapse of the universe (and not from those tiny black holes either).

So the problem all starts with the iphone.  To be specific, it is Plants vs Zombies on the iphone (if you haven't ever played it, your life is not complete and you don't understand the true value of growing a garden in your backyard).  For a little bit of context for those deprived among you who couldn't bear to pull yourselves away from my captivating post to download and start playing Plants vs Zombies (and lets admit it, once you go and do that your entire evening would have been shot and you never would have come back) in the midst of getting your backyard plants to protect your house there is a side activity of collecting plants for a nice peaceful zen garden.  You water and tend to plants and the plants give off coins.  Stinky the snail wanders around the garden helping to collect coins.  IWNFBH was experimenting with how much work Stinky could do when the iphone was resting on the couch arm while he was actually playing Monster Hunter on his Wii (I think that while waiting for quests to start he is playing games on the iphone-- this dual level of gaming may indicate a bit of a problem-- good thing I really, really love him).

The first indication of a problem universal catastrophe came when he exited the garden and was pleasantly surprised when a note popped up indicating that Stinky had collected some coins.  Next, he exited the game but Stinky is persistent and kept picking up coins.  That was ok, the game was kind of running in the background (that whole iOS multitasking thing).  Finally, he decided to completely close the game and see what happened.  I told him that it was a waste of time-- no way could coins get collected; but he's probably an empiricist or something- he never believes logic and instead wants to actually test everything.  The issue is that he was right.  When the game was restarted Stinky had collected 80 coins.  And thus we're forced to acknowledge that Stinky is a huge metaphysical problem.  This is the thing, Stinky ceases to exist when the game is closed.  No time is passing for Stinky so he can't be collecting coins and yet, impossibly enough, he is.   I'm not sure how he's doing it but I'm pretty sure that he is ripping holes through the fabric of the universe which tends to be followed by chaos, destruction, and eventually the end of everything (see Doctor Who Season 5, Sophie's World and IWNFBH says Chrono Trigger ).  The only hope that I can see is that Stinky moves really slow unless you give him chocolate, so perhaps the moral of the story is not to share any chocolate and everything will be fine.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Adventures Begin

So after much poking and prodding by (insert witty nickname for boyfriend here), I have started a blog.

Mahna Mahna